It’s much harder than I expected. I never thought I would feel so tired after talking to people in person every day. I talk for a living for crying out loud! It turns out I’m not the only person in my sports media sphere who feels that way. I had a conversation with a colleague recently who noted how unusually tired he is after small talk in baseball clubhouses.

Small talk is a part of our job. We talk about more than sports with athletes. It’s how we build relationships and get to know people. That’s actually the purpose of small talk. When you approach small talk with intention it’s very beneficial.  And here’s what I want you think about – what are you bringing to the conversation?

This is one of the things my colleague and I talked about, the feeling that conversations require more effort now than before the pandemic. We feel pressure to draw out the stories, tidbits and conversations that further the relationship. And we also...

Sometimes it’s not what you say that makes the most impact, it’s what you do.

Take San Francisco Giants manager Gabe Kapler for example. His frustration over the school shooting in Texas last week and the number of shootings in the United States has led him to skip the National Anthem and stay in the clubhouse when it’s played before baseball games. You can read about how other managers around baseball are responding here. 

It’s easy to “stick to sports” when talking about weekly conversation starters that could be helpful in small talk. There’s a reason I typically avoid highlighting sports topics that are controversial or emotionally charged – that’s not usually a productive approach to small talk.

But this week I want remind you that sports is more than stats and scores because games are played by human beings with feelings.

You don’t have to agree with Kapler’s response. You don’t have to watch baseball...

We’re heading toward a 3-day weekend and a huge weekend in sports. Even if you don’t normally talk sports, it could be handy to have a few headlines in your back pocket. Just knowing what sports are taking place can help you follow along in conversations and file details away for future use.

Here are a few topics making headlines this week.

Forget about it and move on. That's one way to respond when things haven't gone according to plan, but if we're talking about conversations and personal interactions there's value in pausing to reflect on what happened. Heck, even if things went well there's a benefit to evaluating how you got a favorable result so you can replicate that outcome in the future.

Seattle Seahawks defensive coordinator Clint Hurtt goes one step further and actually documents interactions he has with players, coaches and front office personnel so he can learn from them. 

If you're a sports fan you've likely noticed similarities in player and their personalities. Having a game plan based on past experiences can help a coach like Clint connect quicker, respond better, generate buy-in and get an overall more favorable response. 

Coaches aren't the only ones who encounter similar personalities or face the same situations on a regular basis. Think about the conversations you have most often,...

How’s this for a conversation starter: “Can I tell you something that will make your day?”

A colleague actually used that to start a conversation with me a couple weeks ago. That’s a heck of lead-in! If you’re ever in a position to say that, I would highly recommend it. It’s one example of a thoughtful and intentional start to small talk, but you can be intentional with all kinds of conversation starters when you plan for small talk.

Don’t let small talk catch you off guard this week. You know there will be opportunities. Prepare ahead of time and consider using these sports topics as your conversation starters this week.

Hot mic moments. I think we've all had them at some point in the last couple years with as much as we've spent logged on to virtual meetings, conferences and happy hours. 

You know how cringe-worthy those moments can be. And I know the dangers of having a hot mic moment on live TV. Up until recently I'd never had one, but after 22 years in sports broadcasting, it happened. And I actually wouldn't mind if it happened again because it showed that practice what I preach. 

It's important to practice for conversations and interactions big and small and that's exactly what I was doing. 

The conversations you probably need to practice these days are the ones taking place face-to-face and in-person. Transitioning back to an office is a different dynamic than what we've gotten used to in the last couple years. And here's what people miss - talking to people in person is not like riding a bike. It is a not a skill you learn once, come back to and pick up right where you left...

It's not the amount of time you spend in small talk that makes the difference. It's the effort you put into it. 

Be intentional and strategic and use these sports topics to get the ball rolling. 

I don't have time to be emotional. Heck, in my line of work I can't afford to be "emotional." As a woman working in sports that's one of the quickest ways to lose respect and become the "problem" everyone has to deal with.

For years I tried to control my emotions. Nearly every sporting event and game I participated in growing up resulted in me being told to get better at controlling my emotions. 

I tried. I got a little better, but ultimately I failed because it's not about controlling emotions it's about harnessing them. There's a big difference. Mental Performance Consultant Dr. Chantale Lussier provided insight during a Learn from a Leader conversation. 

Sports is a great place to recognize the value in harnessing emotions. If you're already a sports fan you've seen players lose their cool, get into their own heads and minimize their effectiveness during games as a result of not being able to harness their emotions during games. 

The same thing happens in...

The NFL Draft dominated headlines during the weekend. Most of what you heard was stats driven. “Experts” using athletes’ career numbers to project how they’ll fit in and impact their new teams.

As someone who spent part of the weekend covering the draft from Seahawks headquarters, it’s always the communication skills that stand out to me. Here’s what happens in the media room after a selection is made: we all look at the pre-draft write ups and career stats, then the player calls in and we get 10-15 minutes to ask questions.

It’s amazing how that first impression can lead to loving a selection or having doubts as to if they’ll be successful in Seattle.   

In theory their college careers should be enough to convince the scouts, front office, media and everyone else they’ll be successful. But that’s not the way it works. The way they show up in a conversation is critical to the impression they make and how people...

Your resume is a reflection of your skill level, not your leadership ability.

Sure, there are leadership aspects that come through in the jobs you've held and the responsibilities that go along with those roles.

Your skillset is important, but credibility is built through relationships.

When Quandre Diggs arrived in Seattle via trade in 2019 he'd been in the NFL four years. He came from Detroit where he had been a starter and amassed over 200 carer careers. He was a proven talent but he couldn't walk into the Seahawks locker room and assume the role of a vocal leader. As the sideline reporter for the team, I can tell you he is definitely one of the loudest voices in the locker room and he'll explain how he earned that opportunity in the video clip.

It's a good example to follow for anyone joining a new team or trying to take on a larger leadership role. As Diggs said, "It's knowing where you fit in, but you have to have a realistic sense of where you fit in."

Be willing to do the...